http://www.dci.org/news/view.cfm?news_id=b96d38b4-3ee6-4f17-b7f9-11f503b1bee2 (Who's computer is this?)

Q: When and where will "The DCI Show" take place this year?

A: In our backyard, where we can afford it, among neighbors who still
understand us.

Q: How far away is that?

A: What do I care? DCI is the elite - you'll drive as far as you
deserve. Figure it out yourself. It's about a hour for us. If you
have trouble attending, just send your wallet to DCI headquarters, and
we'll seat a life-sized mannequin with your name on it in the stands
opposite the press box.

Q: How many mannequins can you fit in that stadium, and can I name
mine something like "George Hotshot," or "DCI Sucks"?

A: The stadium's architecture was inspired by Albert Speer, and seats
the entire DCI BoD, their alter egos, corporate reps we're shmoozing
with, and every music educator's butt we've kissed since the 1970s.
Its massive. And yes, we will be happy to talk to you about our loyal
fan base.

Q: All I remember of drum corps is sitting on my butt in busses and
huffing fumes half the time. Will DCI recreate that "hurry-up-and-
wait" experience for me in 2008?

A: Absolutely. We are presently tryingt to talk disaffected neighbor
Bill Cook into providing those services, with the stipulation that he
will take you to every accessible corps bingo hall and NOT take you to
see Blast!, which has pretty much been our source of inspiration for
the past decade.

Q: I shacked up with a corps passing through town last year, and now
I'm carrying the director's love-child. Is there anything I can do to
recapture the memories we shared?

A: These days, drum corps vets have come to feel right at home with
marching bands. And you can go get a hotdog at halftime.

Q: I raised my kids on drum corps, mistakenly believing there would
be one in my area where they could experience drum corps when they
grew up. What happens now? Should I mortage my home so I can take
them to finals and keep the dream alive?

A: There are many affordable alternatives to attending The DCI Show
itself, including DVD, VIP, and gold forehead stars. Just send us
your wallet, and we'll find the option that's right for you.

Q: I've always been able to afford to attend my local drum corps
contest, and then found out it folded after I purchased my tickets.
Are these tickets worth the paper they're printed on?

A: Ha! No. Jeez, you should see our resume's.

Q: Where and when can I find more information on relocating my
interest in drum and bugle corps to something that isn't a misnomer?

A: Contact your local drum and bugle ... drum corps ... well,
whatever, and throw money at them. They'll be whatever you want them
to be. Any questions or concerns about what money can do to drum
corps can be addressed to disaffected neighbor Bill Cook.


Stuart E. Rice
www.marchingresearch.com